Transcribed from my iPhone voice memo, recorded as I walked the dog this evening... (and I must remember to do something about the volume if I am going to try that again...)
"So Owen asked the question tonight. No, not the marriage question, shut the fuck up. I am talking about the writing question. We were sitting around after supper, he got a call from a friend asking for help, they were stuck. I said "Hey, might be fun to go, something to do... might be interesting." And he says "Hmmm... are you going as the friend? the reporter? the editor?" And this I don't know. Honestly. (and here I am laughing...) Because I don't know if I am any of those things. I thought for a couple seconds, trying to process the question, um, and really the only answer I can come up with is: Is it going to help anybody if I tell the story? Because if it's not, then I won't tell the story. That is just what popped into my head, but I think it's true, because if I don't see good coming from me telling something, then I don't think there is any point in telling it. I hear this phrase a lot recently: "Be the change that you want to see." And I don't think that any change can come if you are pointing out the badness, the stuff that is wrong, just to point it out. If you don't see a better way, then shut the fuck up. OK, well, I don't really think that, because sometimes you might not see the right way until you talk about it first. Hmmmm..."
Of course, the cynic might pop up right away and say "well, define good... if you get paid for telling a story, that might be good for you" and of course, that is true. But I don't think that journalists get paid much, and spilling my guts for money feels more like prostitution than working at McDonalds did. (Not that there is anything wrong with that...) Of course you have no reason to trust me, that could purely be me talking out of my ass, but if you get to know me, you'll recognize that money doesn't cut it for me. There's more to life than that (although I often feel like a slave to the credit and the loans...). Now if I get a laugh, that usually cuts it. Even if it's just me that laughs. (Another thought I had this evening, maybe a logo or a mantra or something: I don't do anything quickly except laugh!). If I shock you a bit, but not to the point you turn away, that cuts it too (just ask my step-mom!). If it helps you understand something, or at least think a bit more about it, maybe that's the best win. And hey, if you have a come-back that makes me think, well, that might be the ultimate win.
Anyway, I have this sort of insatiable curiosity about things, not often backed by a lot of effort to research stuff, but I feel sometimes like I have this perpetual puzzled look on my face. I want to know where you got that idea. Why do you think that? Why do you make that assumption? I know we have this tendency to group and clump things, compare like with like, essentially to create our own stereotypes. That is our nature, and I don't see a problem with that. Problems arise when we assume that someone or something is going to fall into all of our stereotypes, just because they fall into one.
OK, there was a good dose of my philosophical streak... I think I think too much (might be why I like to drink!) I hope this doesn't all sound like shit when I wake up in the morning... because I am about to make that decision again... ;)